Let’s review

  • DON’T urinate on the corpses of dead Taliban.
  • If you DO feel the need to urinate on dead Taliban, please DON’T videotape it.  A videotape is not a war trophy.
  • If, for some reason, you DO videotape it, DON’T upload it to Youtube.
  • DON’T think you are going to win any “hearts and minds” in Afghanistan.  However…
  • DO refrain from terrorizing, offending, and generally pissing off (or pissing on) the locals.  It really doesn’t get you anywhere.
  • DON’T try to shift blame by claiming that the Taliban, al-Qaeda, and AQI have done worse.  Yes, the Taliban squirt acid in the faces of girls attending school.  Yes, Zarqawi’s AQI beheaded American contractors, and posted the videos on the Internet.  However…
  • DO listen to Max Boot on this one.  We’re better than the Taliban.
  • DON’T use the excuse that human beings have been desecrating bodies ever since Achilles dragged Hector’s remains ’round the gates of Troy.   Achilles eventually got his comeuppance.
  • DON’T get defensive and blame “the media” or “the Internet” for this disgrace.  Blame the jackasses that urinated on the Taliban, videotaped it, and posted it in a public forum for the world to see.
  • DON’T get too frustrated with your mandatory “Don’t pee on the enemy” training.  You should have seen the absurdity in the wake of the infamous 82nd Airborne Division gay porn incident.
  • DO feel free to deal the Taliban as much death as you like.  Preferred methods include mortars, Barrett .50-caliber sniper rifles, Predator drones, Apache helicopters and AC-130 Specter gunships.
  • DO appreciate the irony that raining death upon your enemy is morally justifiable, but peeing on their lifeless remains isn’t.

About Crispin Burke

Major Crispin Burke is a US Army aviator qualified in the UH-60 and LUH-72 helicopters. Major Burke has served in the 82nd Airborne Division, 10th Mountain Division, and Joint Task Force-Bravo in Honduras. In what is likely a sad statement on the state of humanity, Major Burke's writings, musings, and irreverent cartoons have been featured at Small Wars Journal, National Defense University, Foreign Policy Online, Wired Magazine, Egremont, the New York Times, the Washington Post, and the Great Satan's Girlfriend.
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