At the risk of getting busted copping a feel from the Best Blog on Earth – ran by the cool avuncular Pulitzer Prizer (he’s also kinda hot) – “Iraq: The Unraveling LXIX” seems to surge to mind.
Before splitting Iraq pre Surge, perhaps the most intractable enemy Great Satan repeatedly enjoyed visiting death and destruction on, re: urban combat and counter terrorist operations, was the infamous Mahdi Army.
Led by Iran’s boy Elroy – the overtly robust, extra girthy and dental hygiene free Moqtada al Sadr, “Mookie” proved really adept at killing other preachers, tormenting girls, cussing Great Satan and gathering his minions in one place just in time for Great Satan to sweep in and annihilate them, it could be interpreted that Mookie was actually an American agent.
Mookie was a big fat epic fail on estabbing a caliphate, preacher’s 7th century paradise or speading Mookiemania much beyond his immediate environs.
Mookie admitted Iraqis were more hotter to prep for this life instead of racing off to the next and hauled assets out of Dodge to escape a murder warrant and any chance encounter with especial Opresso d’Libre cats while asymmetrically hooking up his stay at home cats with a murderous mentorship via Hiz’B’Allah
Mookie chickened out and hit the books at Qom for the Persian version of getting fully crunk as a jumped up Ayatollah. And pretty much stayed undercover except for a few day trips to Turkey and hitting on his old roomie from back in the day – Hiz’B’Allah’s equally overtly robust, bespectacled spectacle Body Part Collector General Nasr’Allah
Mookie’s Land Betwixt the Two Rivers Comeback Tour according to his tour manager, is kicking off with extracurricular intolerant chicanery – promising violence against American troops:
“We say to the Black House (White House), ‘we are all time bombs and the detonators are at the hands of Moqtada al-Sadr. American troops must definitely leave our lands”
Plus any extension of Great Satan hanging out in Iraq would unleash the Mahdi Army – with orders to kill GI’s (instead of usual targets like civilians).
Perhaps, Great Satan should snatch up Mookie in a daring display of plausible deniable spy guy chicanery -like bushwacking Admiral Yamamoto or the Heydrich Hit.
Even better, Mookie most likely has tons of hot! gossip, smoking deets and wicked little future plots to share with Great Satan over a long, leisured, thorough, enhanced interrogation in an unknown locale.
Mookie’s disappearance could easily be explained – maybe he really is like Mahdi!
Maybe he disappeared into occultation and might come back one day.
Who could say?
Pic – “Here’s to your perfect weapon, Crack bones with blind aggression.”
